A sister’s motives, a sister’s heart 💜

There is so much beauty in women working together. Women tend to be very supportive of each other. I love how we quickly pull together and rally around other sisters. I have observed that when a woman appears unsupportive, there is usually a good reason behind her actions. I love how we can cry with each other and become sisters in an instant like we grew up together and have known each other all our lives. I love how we can sacrifice for another sister to blossom. Whether I look in the community, the church, the family, all around me, there are women rising up to help other women both in times of need and in times of celebration.

I have some amazing women in my life. There are those who have known me since childhood; we took the elevator together to the fifth floor. Whether we talk or see often or not, we have each other’s back. We do not get caught in the weeds of pettiness and unrealistic expectations. We have learnt to give each other the space that various seasons in life will demand of us without being judgmental and drawing false conclusions from a place of partial vision and limited information. We have grown into emotionally intelligent women who do not allow vain imaginations, small talk and our humanity to come in the way of our love and commitment to each other. Yes, we have learnt that to love is to forgive, to empathize, to sacrifice and to always be willing to see from the other sister’s perspective even when it may hurt and not make sense. We have understood that transparency and vulnerability are our strength.

Then there are those who have come into my life in these latter years. They are purpose driven women who have connected with me for the synergy that our collective efforts bring into our individual destinies. They are also kingdom builders who have chosen to align with God’s plans for all our lives. As women, we understand that honor, respect, humility, teachability and reverence for God is what keeps our bond and elevates each of us to a place that serves our common interests.

Did I hear that women mainly compete, fight, bicker, gossip and are self serving? Let’s clean our lenses and look again. Let’s reposition and look from another angle. I learnt a few things on my way to the fifth floor:

The sister who may not have been in touch does not always have a problem with me, life may be secretly beating up on her; reach out, pray for her or just wait out!

The sister who is doing the same project like me did not copy from me, God assigned her too. God has a master plan which includes all my sisters and sometimes it may take ten of us to put up conferences, host retreats or write books to reach all those that God wants to touch. God needs an army of us in sync, heading in the same direction for the same kingdom purpose.

The sister who did not like or share my post or comment below it is not always jealous or refusing to help promote my stuff. She may have other priorities at this time. She may not have paid much attention to my post because her burdens left no room in her mind for much else.

The sister who fell out with us and then one day becomes friendly again does not always have ulterior motives. They are not pretending or being fake, neither are they begging for friendship. The Holy Spirit may have convicted them to do the right thing, they may have found out the truth or they may have healed from something you have no idea about. People also do mature, grow up and learn from their mistakes you know.

The sister who did not buy my products, sign up for my network marketing business, book my services or patronize my business is not jealous or mad that I am progressive. They are not trying to stop my business from growing. It could be an issue of taste, finances, timing or just because! They are entitled to make other choices and still be a sister.

A confident sister is not always proud! She is simply secure in her identity in Christ.

A reserved sister is not always snobbish! She is probably of a phlegmatic personality or still coming into her own.

A loud sister is not always seeking attention! She is simply endowed with a big personality and is fun loving.

A pretty fashion conscious sister is not always a whore! She is fearfully and wonderfully made.

Sometimes we have to trust a sister’s heart above her actions or lack thereof. Just as we expect others to trust that our intentions were genuine when we hurt others, let’s learn to also give others the same consideration. Find a reason to love rather than a reason to draw wrong conclusions. Sometimes we can be so sure we know the reason for a disappointing behavior yet the alleged perpetrator may have been judged unfairly for circumstances beyond their control. A sister may be distant because they are dying of a terminal illness. They may have refused to hang out with you because they are a bartered wife whose husband controls their movements. They may not have supported your business because they lost their job, got evicted from their home and could not tell you. They may not have come to your event because their child was arrested for DUI by the police. We must understand that life does not revolve around us and that we never ever know the full picture behind another sister’s actions.

So the story goes; women are amazing nurturing beings with so much emotion bursting at the seams. We love passionately and sometimes hurt deeply. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can truly be each other’s keeper. I am blessed to have experienced the beauty of connecting with some phenomenal sisters who have learnt how to channel their God given passions into purpose driven friendships. I have faith in what God can do with women who gather around a common purpose.

I appeal to you, sisters, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.

1 Corinthians 1:10