A warrior is born: a true story of motherhood

It was about 4am on what was supposed to be a beautiful California Sunday morning. I woke up for a quick visit to the little room and as I looked down, what I saw gave me a horrible fright. It was a scarlet site that would change the trajectory of my life for ever. My off pitch scream was not the regular blend of soprano, alto and tenor sitting together perfectly in a soothing symphony but rather one that scared my husband running out of sleep to my aid. I cannot recall the drive to the hospital that cold morning but stamped in my memory is the quick response from the ER team as they gave me priority over others in an attempt to save the 5 month old baby I was incubating. As I lay on that ER bed with my husband hoping for the best, for once in my Christian life, I could not find the words to talk to my Heavenly Father. The Dr walked into the room and in a perfectly trained tone and neutral expression gave me my verdict. ‘ Ma’am I am sorry but we will have to let this child go, there is nothing we can do at this point. Although the baby is still alive, your water is all gone’. I was immediately numb and lay there with a blank stare on my face. After the Dr left the room, my husband held my hands and began to pray. Shortly thereafter, after inducing labor, I came face to face with my lifeless Caleb. As a newly married young couple, in all our confusion, we went with the hospital’s suggestion to cremate our son.

Two days later, I was back home with a deep feeling of emptiness. It was a gut wrenching pain that left me ready to begin the journey of my life. In this very space and time, Anita the warrior was born. The songwriter arose out of these cremated remains with a prophetic song that would tour the world and bring healing and deliverance to many that were beaten by life.
To be continued …

This Mother’s Day, while we celebrate the gift of motherhood, there are many who like me struggled and paid a painful price to become mothers. Some have buried children like me while others died trying to have children. Some never conceived while others lost their children through miscarriages. Some of you have lost grown up children. Whatever your situation as a mother, you may be reliving the pain today while others celebrate. Maybe you have lost some other dream that you were carrying  in the womb of your soul. You may feel like no one understands but I want you to know that the God who brought me through understands. I stand to testify today of how He gave me beauty for ashes. I pray that You will allow our loving father to heal you and use you to be a blessing to others as he has done with me. Stay strong and know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you need prayer to help you along the path to your healing do not hesitate to inbox me. This Mother’s Day, God has an assignment for you, he wants to use you to be a mother to those who need someone to hold their hands. Sending lots of love your way. 💕💕💕


Stop Judging!

A true prophet’s first assignment is to preach repentance so that the people can change their ways and draw near to God. This is the whole point of Christianity. Christ left his throne to die on the cross so that we can have a way of being reconciled to the father as sinful beings. There is no way to appropriate the benefits of the cross without repentance. I cannot say this enough! Before the blessing comes, there must be repentance. There are so many of us today who would identify as born again spirit filled children of God but the moment we are faced with a call to repentance, we cry foul and accuse the servant of God of being judgmental. We love those Facebook posts and chain letters that simply ask us to type amen and claim our blessing now. We apply the microwave principle even to our Christianity! We will quickly forward those chain letters that ask us to send to 12 people and a blessing will appear in our lives in 7 hours time. My God is not a magician! If only it was this easy to amass wealth and health so many of us would abandon true commitment and service to God for the easy way out. Reminds me of satan appearing to Jesus after his 40 day fast and promising him the world if he would just bow down and worship him. Matthew 4:9 “he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”
Today the enemy is still promising us the world with cheap scams. He is using Pastors who only preach prosperity, those who preach grace without holiness, those who ask us to send chain letters to our friends in return for quick magical answers to our prayers. He is even using deliverance ministers who lie to us that when we sew a seed offering and they pray for us, we will live a problem free life. Don’t get me wrong, God does answer prayers and he still uses his prophets sometimes to miraculously bless us but this is not the full story of salvation. The enemy is still calling us today to bow to our idols of materialism and instant gratification. He is still promising us a problem free life without repentance and obedience to the word of God.

Our God left his glorious throne and came to this messed up world, suffered for you and I, died on the cross and rose again so that we would be saved. If Jesus suffered all this what makes us think that we can get through life by simply buying miracles or sending out chain letters? Jesus said we must pick up our cross and follow him. Luke 9:23. Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. He said we would be persecuted just like he was. I do not see anywhere in the Bible where Jesus taught us that we could get through life by a lying spirit promising us cheap prosperity through the mouth of a Pastor. On the contrary I see many calls to repentance, many calls to holiness, I see promises of blessings after obedience, I see Paul saying he wants to know Christ through his suffering. Phil 3:10 I want to know Christ–yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death. If anyone is telling us that we can be blessed without changing from our sinful ways, I would keep my distance. The abundance of prosperity gospel teachers has created a body of believers who mistake a call to repentance for judging. We are quick today to say ‘stop judging’ or ‘let God be the judge’ and yet Christ commanded us to preach the full gospel, a gospel that should convict us of our sin and cause us to change. God expects us to preach to each other. Luke 24:47 states, “and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem.”

Luke 17:3 says Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. God permits us to rebuke each other in love. Anytime you feel like someone is judging you, take a minute and go before your creator and let the Holy Spirit convict you in love to repent and draw closer to your Heavenly Father. We are after all our brother’s keeper! Upon the foundation of repentance sits all the blessings we have been chasing after!