Authenticity and Transparency in Relationships

I believe that when God purposefully connects us to people who are meant to be destiny helpers, we will have to be intentional about how we steward these relationships. Learning how to weave the biblical values of authenticity and transparency into the complex matrix of interactions that will ensue is paramount to whether the connection survives.

Many are not authentic in their motives for being in relationship. We must always ask ourselves the big why! Why am I connected to this person? Do I understand why God brought this person into my life or do I have my own selfish reasons for being here? Are all my interactions with this person driven by God’s purpose for connecting us or are they based on my carnal desires. If our motives do not pass the test of authenticity, we will struggle with transparency.

When we are connected under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, our focus becomes how to serve the other person. We cease to allow our ambition and emotions determine what we do. In the body of Christ today, many are connecting because of what they can get from the other person. We join a Church because they have a program that can help us with a need. Maybe we are new in town and the Church has a financial aid or housing program for members. We attach to a leader because they have a platform we are coveting or because they are anointed and we want to tap from that anointing and receive impartation. Relationships that are selfishly motivated will not survive difficult times because the moment that motive is not being satisfied, the connection will no longer make sense. The moment we establish another connection that can better serve our selfish motives, we will switch destiny helpers. The moment the enemy throws offense in that relationship, we will use it as an excuse to disconnect. Regardless of the type of relationship we have, whether it be friendship, family, marriage or within the church, our motive must become God’s motive. It must be about how to give our best self in service to those that God has placed in our lives.

When we approach our relationships as God intended, we will be there to serve the other person and support them in becoming who God has destined them to become. Although I will benefit from the connection, it will not be about me and what I can get from that connection. This means that even when the devil brings offense, we will remember that we have an assignment in the life of that person and until we have completed our divine assignment, nothing will remove us.

There is a desperate need for transparent honest conversations with our divine connections. 2 Corinthians 1:12 says For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you.These relationships will be tested but if our motives are authentic and we have learnt to have open discourse about why we are connected, we will be able to work through challenging times. Relationships that operate in the darkness and exhibit secrecy will not survive. Relationships in which we are unclear about why we are connected or those in which our true motives are hidden will not weather the storms. When offense is wrapped in gossip and backstabbing rather than in open discourse and vulnerability, we will be leaving a door open for the enemy to steal from us. We will be allowing our adversary to put asunder a connection that God put together for divine purpose.

Authenticity and transparency are key to sustaining our divine connections. God will bring people into our lives but we must must be able to go past the initial superficial interaction and bring this relationship to maturity. First we must understand God’s purpose for that connection and that should be what drives how we interact in that relationship. Next we must he honest about the motives in our heart as this will be the real driver of our actions. Finally, we must trust God’s decision to connect us and remain in a posture of humility and honesty in dealing with offense. In order to truly benefit from what God has for us in our relationships, we must take the risk and be our real selves allowing our vulnerability to show. This means that a safe space must be created in which honesty can thrive in love. Romans 12:9 says Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.

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